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“Who ordered the fry egg?” – JohnJohn

No matter who actually did, you can get a free “fry egg” courtesy of IIT and become a hero of St. John’s dorm.

Its simple, just find the “Chinese Dragon” music balls that were stolen over two weeks ago and restore the cosmic order of WCC. Anger and rage threatens to launch a full-scale war amid the WCC dorms, but you, only you, can prevent dorm raids.

Just contact us at everett.polinski@irkutskicetruckers.com with any information leading to the safe return of the dorm cult objects or justice served to the thieves. IIT will even throw in legal clemency for those involved if the thieves themselves return them.

Do you really want a St. John’s armed posse raging around in their quest for justice any longer? Satisfy their thirst for what is truly just, return the dragons, and get a nice new fry egg in exchange!