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Dr. Holmes at QuisQuid last February
 
So tomorrow is the big day we’ve all neglected to study for. But there’s nothing to worry about. We still have a whopping fourteen hours till we even have to start worrying about it, that is, the theology final.
 
However, if you’re one of those people, who are more concerned with the intellectual than with the obviously superior lifestyle of procrastination, here are a few tips to make your experience better.
 
1. Listen to It Dain’t Exist by the ever-popular metal band Nobody: 
The rhythmic chords and irregular beat of this ever popular song are sure to jolt your mind into thinking. Just be sure to turn it up loud and rock to the beat as you “study”
 
2. Find Dr. Holmes with a crowd of other eagerly “studying” students and ask him to answer the questions for you.
Yes it works! as we found out today, though unfortunately, it might be too late now for that now. Or you could write him an email like an IIT staff member did, and hope for an answer.
 
3. Ask Omnisciens (or Omniscientes):
These are those people in the extreme, the ones who always have the answer and are often called by the name Omnisicens. Pretty sure most at WCC will know whom we are talking about.
 
4. Sleep:
Dream about studying and write about whatever you dreamt about tomorrow. Maybe put a few words in like “ambiguous signs”, “formal object”, or “etiology” just to make it look good.
 
5. Shout “Help, please somebody help” at the top of your lungs
Hope someone hears, Omnisciens might come, or an upperclassman, or if you’re not so lucky, a prefect. Try this one with caution.
 
Here’s a little more studying music if you’re interested:
 
Study “laetans” like,
 
Everett