“Because with Fay, you know your pizza is on the way!”
Its nearing graduation for the Class of 2019 and Irkutsk Ice Truckers thought it would look a little look into what the outgoing Senior’s career plans are.
Thus we begin with Peter Fay, the current esteemed prefect at St. Athanasius. A musical man whom many might even call risible, Peter, is everyone’s favorite guitar player. Although a scandal has involved his band Soul Butter, he has apparently been cleared from knowledge or involvement in “Drumgate”, thus leaving in high esteem. He has had little import into the WCC dating scene but that may all change with a new Pizza “hangout” restaurant he’s launching immediately after graduation.
Pete’s Pizza opens May 14th behind St. Athanasius. While a surprise to most, given that Peter has been very reticent about his career plans, this new venture is actually very much in character for him. Pete has had a long attachment to pizza (possibly what he has dated instead of…) as does his whole dorm, as profiled last week on our partner website ETBmugbugandBros. He and his dorm thrive off of pizza, the “circle of champions” as they call it, making Pete a ready expert on the path to actually making his own pizza.
Already, Peter and St. Athanasius have constructed several monuments to their own glory and that of pizza out of — pizza boxes. Even what’s shown above is just a small “slice” (get it?) of their collection, but Pete promises even more as decoration for his new gourmet operation.
“We plan to cater particularly to St. Athanasius,” Pete says. “They have an almost unlimited demand for pizza and I bet they’ll buy even more when we open up right next door.”
Asked how much his pizza would cost, Pete was reticent, but rumors suggest a 14 in large pizza will go for around $8 to $10. Pete is still planning out his menu, so we don’t know everything he will offer, but other St. Athanasius members are excited about special combos such as the “Raid Victory Supreme”, “Odorous Disaster”, or “John Wayne”.
The one and only “Bigfoot” is expected to be the restaurants first delivery driver, using what Pete describes as a “miracle of ancient science, a real authentic flying saucer, to make your pizza truly on the way.” The strange appearance of Bigfoot shouldn’t be a concern, however, as Peter continues, “Don’t be afraid of him. He just likes his pepperoni pizza too, just like everyone else.”
Other dorms should watch out as rumors have also been received that the whole restaurant is just a cover for a project to further assist their standing in dorm raids, as pizza boxes and high-temperature sauce can be used as weapons.