Lander, WY – The foosball players at Wyoming Catholic College’s foosball table in Frassati Hall have been stricken by a series of recent on-field collapses that have led to the demise of several player figures in just the last few days alone.

According to emergency surgeon Dr. John Walsh, “five players have suddenly collapsed while playing on the field in the last week by the cause of mysterious heart myocarditis, a sudden inexplicable plague, that I really have no explanation for.

This comes as some within the school foosball community have criticized the WCCFL’s recent requirement of mandatory WD40 injection of all its players, a treatment for foosball figures which some doctors have claimed is associated with “increased risk of fracturing and disintegration of certain parts of foosball figures.”

The WCCFL (Wyoming Catholic College Foosball League) issued a statement in response saying that “an investigation is underway, but we believe that all of these collapses are low probability independent events and the remainder of our players are under no elevated risk.”