|Full outfit for a dance sourced by IIT for only $39 with ice-truck delivery – Elsewhere: $256
The new way to “not-buy”, sourcing engineering by Irkutsk Ice Truckers.
Next time you plan to go to the store to buy something, don’t, look no further than IrkutskIceTruckers.com.
After years of research developing infinitesimal spy radar devices that we have distributed through our front company Plastic Rocker Bags Inc. we are now pleased to announce a new way to source materials, things, anything!
Our radar spy devices have with proprietary technology inventoried the contents of millions of homes in ‘Merca, Siberia, the supposed land of Canada and more. This works by radar scans of each home being relayed to our Alaska headquarters by a hidden relay application installed on most of the phones and computers of the homes we have scanned. Next we process the data into our now 458 TB database where a revolutionary new system corresponds objects in the radar maps of each home to products, materials, and substances that are recorded on our customer inventory database
Re-scans of our targets allow updated inventory data and we now offer what we have found in our massive effort for sale. Search for an item on IrkutskIceTruckers.com and we’ll give you a list of each location where we’ve found it and an estimation of the item’s condition and other details. Select a specific item and location, pay only for retrieval and delivery costs and IIT will simply retrieve the specific item and ice-truck it to your door.
And what’s even better, make a purchase and we’ll take your home’s contents, if they’re in our system out of public offering.
We have it all, from alarm clocks to cereal, shirts to whiskey, bicycles (our first test market) to wholesale concrete, get it from IIT!
Again, you only pay for retrieval , shipping, and a minor $3 gang insurance fee per order. We contract with the Bones of Rath to ensure the release of our employees if they run into legal trouble with our work, but take confidence, IIT, the bravest metal there is, rarely runs into trouble with any delivery. Even if there is an arrest of one our tough and brave team-members, IIT contract association with the Bones of Rath usually ensures delivery of your order with only slight delays.
Satisfaction guaranteed or your not a happy supporter of the people’s revolution.