San Francisco: In a bid to win back Christian and Catholic customers, which the tech -giant has been losing en-masse, Google announced a new application to appeal to the more techie and faithful crowd.
“It’s so awkward and hard getting someone else to pray for you, right?” asked Google president Yuri Bernardin in a press conference today. “But now that’ll all change when you have the full power of our servers and the Google Cloud standing behind you.”
Using an innovative new idea suggested only today, Google’s Google Pray app will allow you to insert any prayer text, recording, or image or choose from a wide library of existing ones and have the computer pray it for you. Not just once, but with the Google Cloud, parallel processing can have your recorded prayer texted, played back, and bounced back and forth around the world a hundred times to really “send the message” across. Its cloud praying, automated, repetitive, and simple, taking the complex and hassle out of praying.
It works on the basic principle that a prayer is transmitted whenever it is moved. “As incense rises to heaven so also do our servers’ network packets,” Bernardin continued. “Each ‘bounce’ prays the prayer more clearly and distinctly than any person ever could, and with Google Pray, it’s free for individuals.
You can also set Google Pray to offer prayers for a larger cause and collaborate with other faithful by “liking” their prayer messages and rebroadcasting them from your account.
There’s another business reason for Google to be launching this program now even as it has seemed out of character for the usually reliably liberal company. Finding out what people privately pray for or even whether or not and how frequently they do pray may be worth more than any other data on a person. Recently becoming popular as with the launch of Amazonchurch last week, Facebook is reportedly near unveiling a competing “Facechurch” platform where users can build community over e-church virtual services and gatherings.
Go to pray.google.com to learn more about this new service.
At press time, a premium subscriber version of Google Pray will reportedly include the ability to send a prayer directly to God’s email account, reportedly hosted on a server in His closet as Clinton claims was her inspiration for hosting her own e-mailserver.