Washington, D.C. – The tumultuous 2020 Democrat Primary season seems to be reversing course yet again with Bernie Sanders’ recent announcement that he would “guarantee every American a year’s supply of toilet paper”. A front-runner for much of early 2020 until Joe Biden regained his earlier momentum with South Carolina’s vote late in February, Bernie’s new rise comes in the form of three polls out today that show him holding a 70-point or greater lead in the remaining states yet to vote in an average among IIT, CNN, and Reuter’s polls conducted this week.
Though Biden pulled ahead in the number of delegates after the Super Tuesday elections March 3rd and currently holds a lead of 312 pledged delegates, this stunning reversal “switches up the odds yet again” according to CNN political commentator Arnesetta Abilikol as Bernie moves from being 20-points underwater, losing 31/51% in FiveThirtyEight’s polling average to a controlling lead.
Such a vast change is “highly improbable” according to most political commentators who’ve yet reacted to these changes, and the reversal “is quite hard to explain”. However, stategists involved in IIT’s polling efforts place a high probability that Bernie’s quick change in fortunes has to do with his latest give-away promise Saturday, where at a virtual-town hall event Bernie promised everyone that if elected he would “guarantee a monthly supply of toilet paper to every American.” Fearful voters flocking to such a proposal could shift the numbers a bit, Arnesetta admits, but such a change should be “barely measurable” she added. IIT researchers propose, however, that there is a chance of such a rapid change happening with Democrat voters in particular, the reasons being obvious to most ordinary individuals.
Bernie apparently credits his recent rise to popular opinion shifting over his latest promise as he has repeated this promise every day since in each of his public appearances. Joe Biden, in response, attempted to promise the same thing in a public appearance this morning but stumbled and began discussing how he’s promising every American “free PaperCare for only $199 a month” and “Vote Joe for Mayor” before an aide walked him offstage. Campaign manager Hilgan Bennett blamed the confusion on a process error.
#toiletpaperBernie is now trending on Twitter according to IIT technology analyst J. Gielbat.