Lander, WY – The Wyoming Catholic College Admissions Office announced a new plan today to overhaul the admission process at the small but rapidly growing college. Rather than having every student write an admissions essay that will “be worse than any paper they will ever write here as a student” school director of admission Jonathan Hessner says, the school will instead conduct “commonsense ancestry research based on a few simple student survey questions.”

Since school enrollment numbers have risen to a point where admissions can actually begin to be selective, with WCC on the cusp of having a waiting list for the first time, “it’s time to prepare for the future” Jonathan says. “We want the best students, the most committed students, the most Theo-esque students to come here. And since such students usually come from a handful of big families, we want people connected to those families to have the best shot of coming here.”

Hence, research into student’s family and backgrounds will be a forthcoming major part of the admissions process. “Are you a second-cousin by marriage to a Milligan? A Tardiff’s your aunt? Have a Klein for an uncle? We want you?” Jonothan adds.

This doesn’t mean by any means that the school will discriminate against those who aren’t from a few large families. Anybody can still come if there’s space. However, there will be a preference toward those who come from certain families who’s members have proven themselves to be committed to the WCC project. Anyone else will have to prove themselves first. “But given the uniqueness of what we have and are doing here at WCC, that’s not just

WCC’s not alone with such ideas. Thomas Aquinas College for instance has been basing not only admissions but even class sections , work-study assignments and grades on how students, prospective or otherwise, would best fit into their gene pool.”

“In the world of truly Catholic colleges today there’s such competition for top students from top families that simply checking people out so we make sure to admit people from them is barely enough. We need programs, like what some have proposed for the Milligans, but for every big Catholic homeschooling family, to ensure they feel totally welcomed, and loved… and to make sure they send every single one of their kids here” says school Student Life assistant director Mary Rensilret. “Efficiency and effectiveness, in one neat family package.”