Lander, WY – Wyoming Catholic College freshmen of the Class of 2024 are being promised an esoteric “reward” for filling out a “survey” by the school’s Outdoor Leadership Program. According to IIT sources close to members of the current freshmen class, “its a brief 10 min survey” and will give “them an absolutely massive and much-appreciated prize” according to a source within the freshmen class who’s been asked multiple times if she will fill out. “Personally,” she told IIT, “it seems like they’re either overhyping something small and of little importance, or it’s all some giant scam by the upperclassmen.”

However, “there’s no reason not to least take a survey,” she adds. “As long as it doesn’t have a fee, doesn’t take more than the ten minutes they say it will, doesn’t require giving any personal financial information, doesn’t require the sacrifice of a calf or even two turtledoves, doesn’t require slaughtering Trojans in violent and bloody, doesn’t require knowledge of Biblical Greek, Mascheroni constructions, differentiation, or genres.

“As long as it’s the simplest, easiest, GMO free survey out there, I’ll take it,” she says. “Isn’t any reward, as long as they’re not being equivocal about “reward”, worth that?”

IIT agents were unable to get any more information about this “survey”, even from our sources within the OLP, which tells us that either the survey is top-secret and information is being withheld from most lower-ranking officials, or its a scam being clandestinely spread by one or two people within the office. Further, no one outside the freshmen class must have been officially notified about it, so whatever the survey actually is, it’s only being tried on the freshmen.

None of our freshmen sources have as yet taken the survey in order to tell us details about it, but our threat analysis at IIT Intelligence believes there’s “low risk and high intel reward” in freshmen taking the survey, even regardless of the “promised” reward. “So just take the survey for the OLP freshmen,” WCC senior Sophia Donaldson says. “Take it and tell us about it if you’re allowed to, but most importantly take it. It’s always good as freshmen to have something out there that pushes your class together, some common good, some common goal that you all need to work for together to achieve individually. This survey could be yours and you should try and ace it!”

Check your emails freshmen of the Class of 2024 for one from Dr. Zimmer telling you about the University of New Hampshire’s 10th Annual Outdoor Orientation Benchmarking Survey