Wyoming Catholic College prefects are told not to publically disclose their political leanings, in order to, as the Official Prefect Handbook tells them “be able to reach across the aisle and serve all of their dorm.” But if you look closely enough at their behavior, you can usually tell what sort of a prefect you’re stuck with. This is the IIT Guide to the Political Affiliation of Your Prefect, and here’s how to tell if you have a conservative or a liberal prefect.

Signs That You Have A Conservative Prefect

  • He thinks that going shooting would be a fun activity to do with your sister dorm
  • Forces you to go on raids for a stronger position in the dorm dominance hierarchy
  • Only allows you to smoke pipes
  • Forces you to do push-ups if you’re late to curfew
  • You’re only signing Irish folk songs
  • Allows you to have a pet, but only if it’s a lizard.
  • Talks about “the rules” or “illas regulas” all the time.
  • Tells you to be quiet when its officially quiet hours
  • Asks you to open all conversations by updating him on your gun-ownership status
  • Invites you to Crux to talk
  • Skips curfew check because he’s stuck in a lightning storm on top of a mountain peak.

Signs That You Have A Liberal Prefect

  • Thinks that watching a movie would be a fun activity to do with your sister dorn
  • Forces you to go on raids to crush the unjust rule of another prefect in another dorm
  • Only allows you to smoke a vape
  • Forces you to buy donuts for the dorm if you’re late for curfew
  • You’re singing songs by One Direction
  • Allows you to have a secret pet, but only if it’s a cat
  • Talks about “the administration” all the time
  • Tells you to turn up your speaker when quiet hours start
  • Asks you to open all conversations by updating him on your relationship status
  • Invites you to the Lander Bake Shop to have a chat
  • Skips curfew check because he accidentally got locked in a shed

Signs That You Have A Libertarian Prefect

  • This was a joke. There are no libertarian prefects at WCC. The only people who could have become one got married in college instead and live off campus.