Lander, WY – Popular energy drink manufacturer Red Bull Beverages is opening a new drink manufacturing plant in Lander, Wyoming.

“Frankly Lander and St. Leo’s dorm at Wyoming Catholic College specifically is our biggest market in the world,” said the company’s CEO Bill Bigenergy. “Landerites and WCC students soak up whatever we send them, case, flat, or truckload. We don’t understand how they think it’s healthy to drink so much, but we’re so happy that they do that we’re building our next manufacturing plant right there next to them.

In a past show of their pleasure with the market, RedBull bequeathed local eatery Crux Coffee with a special RedBull branded refrigerator just for distributing their product because they were “such a good customer,” but this move is far more absolutely massive. RedBull only has two factories in the United States so far, and Lander is the smallest and most isolated market in which the company plans to manufacture its famous beverage. “Success of our new manufacturing plant will hinge on the strength of customers increasing their purchases rather than our reaching new ones,” commented one sales representative for the company Dominique Timots. “Lander is so small.”

The new manufacturing plant will be built adjacent to St. Leo’s Dormitory with full cases shipped to the dormitory thrice daily to meet their “strong demand.”

As a token of good will to the current loyal Lander and Wyoming Catholic College customers and in hopes of increasing their rate of consumption, RedBull sales representative Dominique Timots is offering a special discounted RedBull sale at “prices cheaper than Crux for a larger can.” Find him to learn more and buy for yourself. He even offers delivery to your dorm room!


NOTE: This post was sponsored by a RedBull Beverages independent salesman.