Ban the Joe: Get Joe to Come Here

Many WCC students are mourning the loss of Joe B. to University of Dallas. A promising member of the spring Founders draft, many were looking forward to him joining the Class of 2023. Banjo Guy as he is called, has reportedly committed to attending the University of Dallas near his Texas hometown, in a decision largely predicated upon the attendance there of many of his friends. But never fear, it’s not too late!

“It’s not up to him whether he comes or not,” was the simple conclusion from a high-level meeting of the new WCC Future Student Decision Council. Simply, that means that as everyone wants him here, he can’t just decide to go elsewhere.

Everyone wants him to come here, but how, one might ask, do we change this horrible decision?

There are multiple ways to be sure, but to begin, we’re collecting signatures as part of a national BAN-JO campaign. Ban does not mean ban in the typical sense of disallowing, but is here as part of “band”, that of which many wanted him to be a part of one. We say Ban the Joe becuase we want him to be “banded” into coming here, while maybe… you could also say banned from going anywhere else…

Sign our petition online here

Another way besides simple public pressure that we’re trying is the “carrot” of a promise of a free banjo. We’re still working on the details, but we’re sure that simply promising free things will bring Banjo Guy here faster than the beat on one of our new metalhead songs, “Cryin Bryin”.

Also, we’re trying to put pressure on his friends to come here as well, as it is believed that their plan as a body to go to the University of Dallas has put undue influence on his decision.

Have any other ideas? Write to us at sales@irkutskicetruckers.com and remember, we love Banjo Guy and we’re doing this for his good as well as our self-interest.