Gender Neutral Patronages: School To House Men in Dorm Consecrated to St. Scholastica

In a move that has proved quite shocking to some, the shake-up so recently announced among WCC dormitories for next year has included transgender patronages. A current women’s dorm consecrated to St. Scholastica will become next year a men’s dorm, forcing men to be under the patronage of a female saint. Seemingly innocuous, a few find it unbearable, however.

“It’s horrendous”, says WCC student Michael Olsson concerning the planned development. “I don’t know what kind of Theology department we have that would sign off on something like this.” He is referring to the news out today that this decision to keep the dorm consecrated to St. Scholastica came from the decision of unnamed Theology professors. “You can’t switch names around wildly you say”, continues Michael. “Then why did they switch Josemaria’s from what is now Theresa’s to the hotel?” he asks. “You switched names last time. Now we have to live with a scandalous situation of ‘gender-neutral patronage’.” Whatever he means by this “gender-neutral patronage” is not alone as nearly 27% of surveyed WCC students say they are against the dorm shake-up. Of course, there could be other factors involved in their opposition, but we find this answer most likely.

Reportedly Michael also believes that no man should “pray to a female saint without a chaperone”. He plans to protest outside the Theology department Friday afternoon in hopes of at least making the professors involved “admit their mistake” and switch Scholastica to a women’s dorm, even though he ultimately thinks her name is “too involved in scandal now to be used on account of this depraved announcement.”