Lander, WY – In an attempt to “ease certain requirements which may adversely impact student’s performance”, Wyoming Catholic College announced a plan today to allow personal cell-phone usage to certain students.
“If a student in an extreme situation prays with their prefect, deeply reflects, and determines that it’s best for their life and for the community as a whole for them to have a cell-phone – who am I to judge?” offers assistant Student Life director Samuel Butler.
Beginning with the upcoming 2019/2020 school year, this “conscience rule” as it is known could thus allow many students to actually possess and use a cell-phone at any time outside of classes. This is a shocking change from the school’s longstanding ban on such devices and is making many parents fear that the so-called “rocker culture” at WCC is taking away its original identity.
Butler attempts to assuage these fears, saying that they’ll only make this new opening an exception to the rule for “extreme cases”, the idea of any opening at all still doesn’t sit well with many parents and even some students, who think “extreme situations” could be as little as “not wanting to walk up to their dorm room to call home” or having a desire to play 30Chickens in a Blender and not having the patience to wait for one of the Baldwin computers to open up.
At press time, IIT sources on-site in Lander confirm that one prefect plans to expand this exception to all work-study students in his dormitory as “lack of communication is a sin against charity”.