Wyoming Catholic College Seniors Keegan & Ian were outed today as the two youths who removed and tossed the idolatrous pagan statues on display in the Vatican into the Tiber River Monday.

“It was those two, dude.” said WCC Senior Ryan Alexander, their roommate. “And I’m quite proud of them too,” he added. Though attacked as “hateful” and even racist by some promoters of the idolatry, Ian and Keegan were “truly heroic” as Fr. Olar, a WCC chaplain, told IIT news today, and we repeat the sentiment from the entire IIT staff.

Idolatry is simply against the first commandment as all students (except perhaps freshman who haven’t finished their first semester of theology) and is defined by the Catholic Encyclopedia as “Divine worship given to anyone or anything but the true God.” St. Thomas Aquinas further associates it with superstition and its grave nature as “a rebellious setting up of a creature on the throne that belongs to Him alone” justifies action completely.

While the video evidence calls the statue but “controversial” can’t we just call it what it is – idolatry? Pagan fertility statues are not worship for the one and true God wants nor does or at least should anyone in the Church think that. Keegan & Ian are simply heroes like St. Boniface in cutting down an object of idolatrous worship. Thank you!

Other students are mostly pleased with Keegan and Ian taking such a stand although a few wish they could have done it instead and actually had a “pious reason to skip out of classes for once” as one told us. Even this doesn’t make them displeased though, but just “searching” we were told, for a similar act of pious glory they can perform. “Maybe roof hopping can be redeemed after all,” one suggests, pondering whether hanging a crusader flag from the United Nations headquarters would be a practical and meaningful stand to make.

The Cult of the Tree of Life, a religious organization of some sort that existed last year in Lander and is apparently in advanced stages of formally disbanding did not comment directly, but former members of that organization, similar in many respects to aspects of Mormonism until it was shut down when members realized that there was only one God in Sophomore theology (funny they didn’t get it freshman year) are reportedly extremely happy as well.

Keegan preparing for the job