Lander, WY – Even as the WCC community and the Class of 2022 in particular braces for the loss of several of its members who do not plan to return for the upcoming academic year, the most tragically surprising losses were, of course, those first to fall. By this, I mean Cyril and Destiny, those two who didn’t even make it through the first school year amongst us. Cyril left suddenly, as most remember, with little explanation while Destiny left on account of reported injuries, but details are just starting to emerge that there might have been more to their departure than at first meets the eye.

As a close confidante of Cyril’s reported today about his mysterious departure: “Cyril didn’t really want to go”. Now mixed emotions about leaving a community like WCC are to be expected, but this detail and the fact that Cyril’s departure is being brought back up months after it happened seems to imply a deeper meaning to what happened.

Cyril made no mention of leaving for months leading up to his sudden departure, seemed well at ease at WCC, and mentioned nothing when he attended his class’s dance mere hours before he first announced his intentions and at the same time departed. These details were all known to most already, but one small detail our source added changes the narrative completely. He had “signed an agreement for the safety of both not to reveal until now” that he had “reservations” about his departure and mixed emotions.

Now for one, why did Cyril see a danger that made a need for him to worry about his safety? And who did he make this agreement with, by the way? We’re investigating, but the only easy conclusion is that he was forced out in fear of his life. And the same seems true of Destiny’s departure.

Destiny seemed to be recovering from the injuries which, a year before, had made her retake freshmen year, and seemed in high spirits, improving in health and even participating in a little friendly treachery by supporting her former class above the Class of 2022 on Color Day.

While of course, a sudden onset of sickness could explain her departure, no medical records that IIT has found (obtained for legitimate business reasons) lend any credibility to her claim that merely sickness forced her to leave. She was, as Dr. Zagorski comments, “as fit as a fiddle, and healthy as a selfie”. So why did she leave, when other of her classmates said she was the “happiest and most eager to be there of anybody”?

Unlike Cyril, no new information has come out yet, but the report on his departure puts new light on hers, which occurred only two weeks later. When one considers the fact that the Class of 2022 was jokingly called the “solid-52” for its lack of attrition, up to the day Cyril left so surprisingly, and that this departure was so soon followed by Destiny’s, you can’t not admit that some outside force triggered them both to leave. Unless of course, it could also have been an inside force? Or maybe both?

Now no one at the school would want to admit to such infiltration, but it’s known well to Student Rockers that Spartan agents have penetrated WCC at its highest levels. Cyril, we purport, may have discovered some evidence that could offer legal proof beyond class hearsay of this infiltration and their plans for school, state, and world-domination. To the Spartans and their allies, always desiring absolute security and secrecy, such a leak would demand drastic measures and we suggest based on all known facts that he was forced out by Spartan agents within the WCC administration. Destiny, who roomed with Cyril’s sister, must have been no different, similarly discovering and unveiling evidence of collusion, conspiracy and the like. For this, they fell, immortalized in the fad of the “No Collusion remix song that became popular amongst the class after their departure.

Perhaps a subliminal recognization of what was really behind their first losses, the popularity of the song amongst the then Freshmen Rockers shows even now what should be the battle cry of the whole school. Yes, no collusion. No collusion with Sparta. No collusion with the TACey terrorists. No collusion.

While without Cyril or Destiny’s testimony, which seems extremely hard to obtain now as they both seem to have just gone completely missing from any communication with anybody, we can’t prove that this is the narrative, every WCC student I’ve talked to admits to this being their belief about what really happened. The fact that they only admit such under anonymity, however, shows just how much a threat remains.

Next time someone leaves, remember, and think, what did they notice? People don’t just leave WCC without good reason. For Cyril, Destiny, and, we fear, many others, it’s only when pure terror, the oppression of the Spartan plants, “shadow-expels” them.

Be careful out there,

Everett Polinski