Lander, WY – Reported bribes at the annual QuisQuid “fun game night” at Wyoming Catholic College have reached a new record, several IIT sources close to team captains suggest. Cowboys, Philosophers, and Poets duking it out at the annual event typically spend in the range of $300 between them, but today is different for some reason, with $3,400 already reported and raised and teams growing increasingly bold in their plans to persuade the judges, the professors, from simple obedience to the “Fates of the Geometry” (or in other words, the roll of the dice).
“Pizza party”, was a shouted proposal by some amidst one team, and “a month of free babysitting” for the professors’ families or having “everyone commit to actually coming to class for a week” were other exotic and wild proposals. Typically the school administration looks the other way at such times, as the game night is of course, not really that serious, but they may have to intervene tonight amidst a new report just in that teams are even attempting to bribe each other. “This is a grave violation of standards of sportsmanship,” school assistant director of Student Life, Leonardo Frazier commented. “Don’t they know that it’s only right to bribe professors?”
Meanwhile, WCC Security forces, most recently activated last night for the fall-out to Sophia’s follow up oration on her true position on the liturgy, “may be needed for the first time at the typically orderly event”, a prefect reported to us as well.
But Andrew Matthews, head of the security division at the college, “officially question[s] whether even these security forces can remain impartial with absolutely massive glory and honor at stake.”
But then after commenting this even he got excited, immediately shouting, “Great idea. Steak. Let’s grab some of that too.”
Student Life has also been more reticent than usual in announcing the time/location of the event, but it has been confirmed to run in the Frassati dining lounge from 7:30PM to around 9:30 tonight.