Lander, WY – After several recent incidents showed a disturbing decline in community engagement amongst students at Lander’s Wyoming Catholic College, Student Life Officials have proposed a “new and innovative” idea to “really get people back to basics in the community” according to the director of student life Homer Higgenbottom.
“We’ll just collect a lot of the stuff the Methodist is throwing out or giving away, mix in any heretical books we find around on campus, and maybe even throw in a copy of Faulkner to please the seniors or Thucydides for the freshmen every now and again,” he continued. Burning sessions will be conducted at the apartments Friday nights at 10 pm in a bit of a change from most events, which are held at the apartments rather than the upper dorms and may also feature dancing, singing, and BunnyBunny playing.
“Its the perfect help for our community problems,” dean Professor Cleanet told IIT today. “Students just don’t seem to \know what to do with heresy these days, so burning heretical books should be a good way to get them processing what they’ve been told in class, with Faulkner and Thucydides just a nice hook to get them interested.”
“Maybe we can get someone to demonstrate pipe smoking afterward,” Cleanet added addressing the fast declining smoking rate among students as well that everyone knows is particularly injurious to community unity and spirit.