Hot on the heels of the surprise addition of windows to its dining hall, Frassati Hall last December, Wyoming Catholic College announced further upgrades will be forthcoming both in general and to fix shortcomings discovered with this addition.

Here’s what’s changing according to the school:

Bars on all the windows. While the addition of windows to Frassati may have lowered the school’s energy costs by allowing natural lighting, it also too away from the “bomb shelter” look of the Frassati we’ve all come to know and love. Never fear. Bars will be installed on all the windows to make sure the prison-like vibe isn’t completely lost.
New Door. Yes, the front door will be replaced, but don’t worry, it will still make just as loud of a noise as a recording of the old door banging shut will play every time the door closes.
Paint. And yes, Frassati Hall will be painted.
Smoke Machine in the lounge. Many people complained when the adjustments were made to the Frassati Hall fireplace. It didn’t feel the same afterwards, the smoke wasn’t there to hide me smoking inside, I could see across the room and it felt wrong, etc. Don’t worry, we got you, a new smoke machine installed in the room will replicate the “smoke-filled room” effect experienced whenever someone lit a fire perfectly.

But some things aren’t changing. Frassati will still have the same drain, the same mop-bucket, the same fireplace, and the same dishpit.

The day of which it is said: “Behold I give thee new heavens and a new Frassati. The former heavens and the former Frassati will pass away and the dishpit will be now more…” That day is still yet to come. And that’s a good thing, right? Since it means the best is yet to come…

I hope you’re happy.