Sts. Benedict and Scholastica Dormitories

Lander, WY – Due to a surprising severe imbalance between men and women in the incoming freshmen of the Class of 2024, Wyoming Catholic College has been forced to turn one of its dorms intended to be used by men this year, St. Scholastica’s back into a women’s dorm as it has in the past. Originally St. Scholastica’s was supposed to be combined with St. Benedict’s Dormitory into one dorm under one prefect, Joseph Maxwell, but due to the change, with St. Scholastica’s now being a separate dorm for women, they will need a new female prefect. Sources within school administration report a mad rush at the Student Life Office to try to find someone willing to take on a surprise role at a surprise dormitory that was not expected to be needing anyone during the regular prefect draft season two months ago.

As Sophia Donaldson, a senior at the school reports, “not unlike a Supreme Court justice suddenly dying or retiring, a vacancy so soon before the start of the year is politically, interesting, to say the least.” Conservative hardliners and progressive interests were balanced with the last prefect selection so perfectly as to ensure deadlock between prefects as to all their decisions. Now adding someone new to the prefect mix will upset the balance and according to Sophia, “force the Student Life Office to choose sides with this appointment”.

Rumored candidates include Camille Callaway, Bernadette Heithoff, and Elaine White, but in addition to a prefect being necessitated by the new dorm, several upperclassmen will also be necessary to “make the place have a more normal mix of classes and not just an overflow dorm for freshmen”. While the school has not, as to IIT’s knowledge, sent out a request for women to consider moving to the “new”, or that is “old” apartments of St. Scholastica’s “they’ll either have to talk it up really nicely or just force people to go there as everyone else has been just about settled at the other places already” according to IIT president Everett Polinski who has multiple sources of his own within school administration.

Complicating the situation is the fact that the Scholastica’s which will now be a women’s dorm is in fact the old St. Benedict’s, with the old St. Scholastica’s now becoming the new St. Benedict’s in a bid by school maintenance and administration to balance out men’s wear and tear on one building as the school attempts to maintain and enhance the two dormitories this summer and into the next year.

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