Raymond Engles

Lander, WY – Wyoming Catholic College Senior Raymond Engles is certainly well known for his Latin abilities. Anyone looking for a translation of a piece of literature, looking for a full word etymology, or even just wanting the right ending on their word for a test always knows where to go at WCC. But while everyone knows“Raimundus” as their Latin study-buddy, little did they know until an announcement today by doctors and philosophers of the “Infinity Project” which studied weird cases of advanced technology and superhuman abilities, that he was also something far more. “He’s human, but he’s something more than man, he’s pretty much the very incarnation of Latin itself,” says scientist Dr. Walter Reed, who’s been studying the “Raymond phenomenon” for the last three years as part of the project.. “We can’t explain it scientifically, so we actually for once had to consult the natural philosophers for an explanation. They thought about it for a few weeks and gave us a sort of answer but you could tell by their expressions that they don’t understand him either.

As far as their chosen “natural philosopher” source, Dr. Stanley Bolsson can say, investigation of Raymond has led them to realize that while he is truly human and has a human soul, that human soul is somehow informing not matter, but simply “a physical instantiation of the principles of linguistic formalism.” If that answer was as little helpful to you as it was to us, Bolsson added that “It’s really quite weird philosophically, but Raymond doesn’t really have a body. He just has Latin, and his soul forms and informs whatever has anything to do with Latin by some sort of ‘touchless actuality’ that imitates in many ways the angelic mode of action in the physical natural world.”

“In other words, we can sort of say something about Raymond, but we can’t explain anything about how it came to be this way,” Dr. Reed added. “I personally want to say he’s just a mutative step or two ahead of the rest of us in evolution, but the philosophers are saying something about him popping out of a copy of the Latin Vulgate or something and his actual body being on the hyperuranion plain with just a Luke Skywalker-esque made visible to us. I dunno though. Maybe we should investigate him more.”

Raymond has commented on the scientific/philosophical findings about himself, but they are in such a highly-stylized Latin poetic verse that no one on our staff was able to decipher his statement.