Lander WY – Wyoming Catholic College officially decided to block the official website of Vatican City, vatican.va from their school internet campus-wide. According to sources close to the decision, made suddenly by members of the the school’s Risk Management Committee, the Vatican City website was “deemed unfit for students to read after a discussion involving several former and current faculty members about the 2016 Vatican Dubia.” Taking effect immediately, school spokesman Mary Detsegah says “they determined that theological confusion might result from students reading the Vatican website and we really can just never be too careful these days with the internet. Who knows what else is hidden deep down there on that site?”
Several of sources, however, believe that there may be more to the decision than a mere expression of support for Cardinal Burke and the others members of the dubia committe, which in 2016 asked Pope Francis to clarify certain ambiguous statements in his encyclical Amoris Laetitia. “Rad-trads are really on their way out at WCC and are being quickly replaced by Byzantines,” says the school’s head sacristan Jack “Esto” Blandus. “So for the school to make such a rad-traddy move so suddenly there must have been more at stake.” Jack points to certain recent sightings of faculty members and certain students wearing t-shirts praising members of the Antiochean school of theology that were deemed heretical at the Second Council of Constantinople in 551 A.D such as Diodore of Tarsus, Theodore of Mopsuestia, and Theodoret. “Obviously there are modern Anticochaeans or Nestorians here at the school right now trying to stir the pot in the church with this announcement made for publicity,” Jack added.
Neither Vatican officials nor either of the school’s two chaplains have yet commented on the Catholic website being blocked by WCC so publically. However, the school had also announced as part of the same blocking announcement bans on further websites including the school’s own website, its library website, G-Mail, the hosting provider of all school e-mail accounts, Crux Coffee, and Irkutsk Ice Truckers, with reasons ranging from again heresy (Crux Coffee) to authoritarianism (the school’s own web-page), to security issues and hacking risks (the school’s library website).