Lander, WY – In a bid to simultaneously save money and improve students’ competence in Math and Latin, Wyoming Catholic College has decided to introduce virtual tutors for student use. Merely consisting of cell-phones playing instructional Math and Latin videos on repeat, the school’s dean Professor Cleanut thinks “student outcomes will increase by an absolutely massive degree.”
Rather than just hiring older students who’ve done well at the two subjects to help instruct others out of class, virtual tutors need no paperwork, no meetings with professors, no skills, just a power source and a Wi-Fi connection. “Simple and easy, its the way of the future,” WCC spokesman Mary Detsegah told reporters today in announcing the new plan. “Students can now come to the virtual tutor at all hours of the day rather than just a few allotted items early in the morning that are hard for most students to get to.”
The school expects average grades for mathematics and Latin courses to increase by somewhere between -50% and +50% with the introduction of virtual tutors. Due to the success of certain classes that ran without a professor in actual attendance, Wyoming Catholic College is also considering virtual professors and professorless classes on a more regular basis, “since no one really cares about what their professor says anyway” as a current faculty member commented anonymously to IIT.