Lander, WY – The patriarchy seems to be hidden at Wyoming Catholic College IIT analysts can finally report after years of research. The majority of “strong, independent WCC women, the majority of the school’s female population, are unaware of being oppressed by any patriarchy,” reports Jack Dolon, IIT correspondent for social affairs. “Not only do 90% of women at WCC not know what the patriarchy is, but 80% of them believe that it is actually the matriarchy which runs the school.”

“Everyone knows Dr. Virginia really decides everything,” one current junior told us. “The Board and the Administration are just fronts. There’s no patriarchy at WCC, so there’s no oppression at all.”

Even 70% of men at WCC agree. “I guess this makes WCC the most progressively minded conservative college in the world,” says Benjamin Legreid on the news. “I don’t know, maybe having a patriarchy would have its own benefits. Could be fun. But since I’ve never seen one I guess I kind of like things as they are.”

Thomas Aquinas College, however, is “wholly patriarchal in every aspect of its existence,” the same IIT report concluded.