Mar-a-Lago, FL – Donald Trump promised today that if elected for another term as president in 2024, he will make America great again by transforming it into a replica of his very own Mar-a-Lago resort.
“America needs a leader who will bring it back to its former glory,” Trump said. “And that leader is me! I have all the answers to make America a place where everyone can live in luxury and comfort, just like they would at my resort. Sleepy Joe Biden wants America to look like a soccer stadium. SAD. But we’re not going to do that. We’re going to build something far more beautiful.”
Trump said he would begin by redesigning the Capitol building to look like the Mar-a-Lago clubhouse, complete with a grand ballroom and a pool with a waterfall. He also plans to construct replicas of the resort’s many golf courses across the country, so that people can still enjoy the game no matter where they live.
“I will also make sure that all of the roads in America are lined with palm trees, just like my resort,” Trump said. “And I’ll make sure that everyone has access to all of the amenities I provide at Mar-a-Lago, from the spa to the fine dining options.”
“Furthermore,” he added. “The streets will be the safest, most beautiful, biggest and best ever, just like my fairways. Everyone we’ll be so, so happy, that we won’t even need the Police. But we’ll continue to have the biggest, best and most capable police force ever. Ever hear of Nancy Pelosi. She wants to defund the police. But guess what, I’m absolutely crushing her in the polls.”
“We’ll even add beachfront access to every state. The world will look upon us with admiration and envy,” he said. “And when they do, they will know that America is great again.”
Ultimately, Trump even hopes to officially make all of America part of an absolutely massive Trump Golf Course. “We might even have to rename the country, the ‘Trump America Golf Course and Nation.’ Imagine that!”