Lander, WY – Hot on the heels of the hire of a new internal marketing strategist, replacing work previously performed by an external form, Wyoming Catholic College has decided to update the traditional ideals of its education.
“Today’s students don’t care about the old fashioned good, true, and beautiful” commented the new marketing strategist Dominique Challerre Timots, Those words are meaningless to most of them, and to those who do know what they mean they’re antiquated vestiges of their forefathers, something to think about one or two days a year, but by no means the proper ordering principle for an entire curriculum, or life for that matter.”
Rather, the school will be introducing a new and improved set of non-transcendental transcendentals, the new three Cs of the WCC experience, couches, (c)kisses and cuisine.
“We started this process by just looking at what students want,” Dominique added. “What’s the first thing they do when a professor lets them out of class. They run to the couches. They run to their sweethearts. They run to Crux. Obviously couches, kisses, and cuisine are their highest ideals.”
“And so,” chimed in, WCC director of admissions Marilyn Trust, “we will modify all our school advertising, marketing, and outreach to be about these three principles. And we’re got some great examples set up already. Admissions is proudly all-female, for example, so we can have a slogan ‘Come to WCC, there are more like us.’ Or, WCC, Home of the powerball, the powerkiss, and powercouches, perfect for powersnacks, power couples, and powernaps. The options are endless.”
Even donors will be happy that they are now supporting not an old stultified insitutition that supports outdated ideals, but rather a progressive forward thinking insitutition that aligns with student values rather than raising them up to anything either.
Prospective students who care about the old transcendentals are advised to go to TAC.