Lander, WY – It’s quite surprising to our analysts that so few people seem to know, but an IIT staff member and a former Superflex Security Teammember are now engaged to be married and in fact have been so for months. But the fact, again, that people, again and again, drop their jaws in stupefied shock is what surprises us the most. Why didn’t anyone realize?

Of course it’s not like the two of them bought out a billboard, as the relatives of some students here at Wyoming Catholic College have, in order to make such a big announcement. They didn’t hire a bunch of Twitter troll-farms to push the narritive in their favor, And they didn’t send out an all school email.

Maybe they should have done that last thing. Maybe the community shouldn’t be expected to spread such news around that fast. After all, we were separated quite a bit for these past months. Maybe one engagement isn’t big news.

I say no. As Gerard Manley Hopkins says in his poem “As Kingfishers Catch Fire” I also say more. The WCC community needs to know of something so momentous as a coming marriage. We’re all family in several respects already, so should’t the family know of a marriage in the family?

Shouldn’t they?

They should! They must!

And the fact that most people are still surprised to hear about the engagement of a [redacted name] IIT staff member with a [redacted name] Superflex Superteam Security teammember illustrate a fundamental breakdown of communication at WCC that has occured because of this unfortunate, unnecessary, and quite frankly, quite suspicious separation of the past months.

We aren’t talking. We aren’t communicating enough. We aren’t acting like “one big happy family”. And we should be acting like that!

So I’m out here to fix that, starting with the news that slipped through the cracks of our severely malformed and damaged communication. Let it be known, proclaimed to the rooftops, in fact, that a [redacted name] IIT staff member is not only dating a [redacted name] Superflex Superteam Security teammember but they are actually engaged to be married.

Congratulations to [name redacted] and [name redacted] on becoming the new Mrs. [name redacted].

Send us an email here and we’ll forward your congratulation to them.

Or far better send it to them youselves. You know who we’re talking about by now, right? Or has our communication not recovered at all?