Share with:

FacebookTwitterGoogleLinkedInRedditPinterestPocketEmail this pagePrint this page


I’ll start out by agreeing that this title is quite cliched. It’s just as common for members of the Class of 2021 as it is for everyone else to talk about the weather. But supporting his claim with what appears to be strong evidence,, Junior Ragemond Angers (Iramond Irae) claims to have had a “close encounter of the fourth figure kind” with the “real itself” near his COlorado home.

“It was just last week” he said in an exclusive interview with IIT staff. “I was walking along in the unreal and then I saw it. It was numinous, scary, beautiful, and awe-inspiring all at once as it immersed me in it.”

Obviously we don’t have pictures of it, as such would serve only to domesticate such an experience and destroy this experience of the real, but we do have evidence to support his claim this time as Ragemond seems to have developed high transference of this immersion into the rest of his life, vowing to “never listen to metal in the same way again” and “keep only wild animals as pets rather than domesticated creatures”.

Several onlookers also confirm Ragemond’s claim. Although they did not see the real as he did, they say he was obviously seeing “something” as he was walking. “He reacted in a way no modern ever would have,” commented one. We conclude that this means he was responding to his experience as an ancient, totally immersed and not shallowly experiencing, further showing he was in an actual state of experiencing the real.

While Ragemond did not explain any further what exactly he saw, he has already become a celebrity amidst his class, with some calling for him to be given a degree immediately from WCC as he has “obviously fulfilled the goal of the curriculum”.

“Graduation Now” they chant with “RealRagemond” the No. 1 trending topic on IIT’s communication media platform MetalMatch as of 6pm Saturday.

Now we’ll just have to see if the rest of the Class of 2021 ever get as good a chance as Ragemond to experience their real.