At Tuesday night’s dorm prayer in St. Leo’s prefect King included an “Alleluia” in the midst of the prayers. Although he was immediately corrected by other dorm members, there is great cause for suspicion, however, that the acclaimed “Liturgy Hobbyist” is up to something.
“What did he now and when did he know it?’ asks Everett Polinski of St. Leo’s. “Was this but a slip of the lip as he claims, or intentional?”
The question we’re all asking

Confused liturgists suspect something is up. Has WCC been infiltrated by modernism? What could have made a seasoned and famous “Liturgy Hobbyist” make such a blatant statement against tradition. Even our hard core rockers care about this violation and want answers, proving that this is an issue that crosses “Traditional/Ordinary” lines as IIT staff have been at the forefront of investigating this situation. “We like metal and we know that it’s not always appreciated when we try to introduce it into the liturgy, but alleluia is something none of us can even stand.
IIT’s staff Average Muslim Litugist reports that there is no Islamic basis for saying “Alleluia” in Lent, proving that it is not a result of our (IIT’s) growing cross cultural integration movement at WCC (that we are not at fault for having introduced Muslim traditions into Catholic prayers). However, IIT has not yet fully investigated any particular motivations Mr. King may have had in his actions. “We know that he is in support of liturgical dance in ‘some circumstances” so there might be some sort of connection, but at this stage we just don’t know” Everett continues. “The whole school is still grieving in its metal cornered safe spaces” and it will take a few more days before we can seriously start investigating.”
Everett asks for the community to stay strong in the face of this outrage and to consider ordering his new songbook and people’s missal: Traditional Metal for the Traditional Mass to give IIT funds for the investigation of this “outrage”.
“For sale beginning April 1 for only $11.99, this groundbreaking work will be dedicated to metallic calm and peace in our community” Everett says, and sales of the book will “give us the funds to fully look into this situation.”

Order today at sales.irkutskicetruckers.com for this wonderful edition published by Irkutsk Ice Books.