Lander, WY: Confusion is spreading among the WCC Rockers after this above photo leaked to multiple news sources today. Apparently, WCC Security Chief and Freshmen Rocker Andrew Matthews is depicted here in some bright, futuristic looking room . Of course, that in itself wouldn’t be a story, but the sources which received the image claim something far more exciting, and mysterious, that its the first IIT rocker “to go boldly where no man has gone before” . It’s “Andrew on a trek in space”, they claim, that in addition to his studies, Andrew was quite recently involved in a voyage beyond the world.
Andrew officially denies these claims, yet the idea of secret operational involvement of a WCC student is not that far fetched after an image was uncovered weeks ago of Professor Washut in some sort of military operation guiding a missile launcher. Further analysis of this image is waiting upon full Irkutsk Ice Truckers supercomputer analysis of the image. However, initial reports suggest no evidence that the image was altered in any way and attention is now focusing on who the man next to him in the image is, and exactly where and what Andrew is doing.
Perhaps what was reportedly said several weeks ago is relevant when a professor said, “Let’s just throw Andrew in the fire.” The news sites which originally carried this image, forwarded from an anonymous source describing themselves as WCCLEleaks, suggested Andrew Matthews took this as alleged statement as a threat and fled to join a top-secret Space Force, but with Andrew still officially denying this story, and witnessed by dozens to be on Earth, little is still yet known.
“He probably would do a thing like that,” says Bernadette Heithoff, a sophomore from Kansas about Andrew’s supposed trek among the stars, “but I really don’t know why everyone would be making such a big deal about it. If he didn’t talk, then I guess he has a reason, and a right to remain silent. I just wonder why everyone’s making such a big deal about it?”The big deal she mentions is the record-breaking trending of #SpaceAndrew on W.C.C. social media. With 84,300 “beats”, 23,400 shares, and nearly a thousand comments already on this topic on IIT’s platform Facetruck alone after news this morning, this photo has certainly provoked interest although CNN warns on a special on the topic that the popularity of the topic is “more evidence of Russian collusion” as hackers and bots attempt to deflect popular attention from Special Counsel Joe Nemec’s recent findings
Washington Junior Adam Mcclure agrees that this interest in the actions of one person is surprising, but suggests the Student Life office itself is behind the “interest” in an attempt to confuse and befuddle the overall situation.