Lander, WY – The Lander, Wyoming crime rate continued to skyrocket in May as WCC Security chief Andrew Matthews today published and reported on a “very violent conclusion to the semester that set records in several categories of enforcement action his department had to undertake”

The final night of curfew, May 10th, saw Andrew’s team having to evict nine people from various buildings around campus after curfew. “It was the worst I’ve ever seen,” said the seasoned security professional and it makes him wonder whether “Amanda’s ‘I have a lot of things to say about you freshmen’ statment might actually be true.”

“I went into one room in particular after hearing loud noises and screaming emanating from it. That was a tough one.” he continued without divulging details of what was going on there.

No prefects commented on whether they had similar curfew enforcement problems on their end, but Andrew’s team also recorded a 35% spike in prefect enforcements of the dress code in May. “We don’t have responsibility over dress code enforcement at present,” he commented, “but with next year’s introduction of the “mean-guy” position, they’ll defnitely have their work cut out for them if this trend holds.

Some suspect that these spikes could be related to changes in another variable, the dating rate. Among the Freshmen, it jumped from 54% to 77% month to month in May. This is the largest increase ever as “the Freshmen seem set to become the spiciest class ever” Senior Charles Karson reported.

WCC Dating experts were unable to explain why the last two weeks of school in particular saw this dramatic spike. “We’re still waiting for Bruce’s final report to anlayze the situation better, but it seems we may also need the denomination of new dating types that Jeremiah (Davis Smith – a new IIT contributor) is working on.