Lander, Wyoming – It’s July 2019, about a week before the new Freshmen are set to arrive, three weeks before the WFR attendees return, and about four weeks before everyone else gets back to Lander.
And that means:
We’re nearly into the 2019-2020 dating season, which may just have the potential to be about the wildest yet for twelve-year-old Wyoming Catholic College. Prefects are already preparing and training the two students chosen to be the “Mean Guys” for the year, a position that will take over many of their previously accounted responsibilities for enforcing dating policies.
Prefects used to get this training when they were in charge of all enforcement, but their replacements this year will get “far more extensive preparation for their important role after the Class of 2022 made us clarify and expand our definitions” as Student Life director Hillary Halsmer explained to IIT. Training now runs a week from “extensive details of every classic and novel style of dating” to recognizing the “twelve signs of a couple” and how to “abdicate between competing parties in triangular dating situations”.
These are important skills for the school’s law enforcement as dating rates at WCC are skyrocketing with the Class of 2022 and will likely continue to accelerate with a fifty-eight student Class of 2023. However, for those Freshmen looking to get into the dating market in their upcoming year, there might be complications due to the radically imbalanced gender ratio of the Class of 2023, which has thirty-seven women to only twenty-one men in its committed body.
IIT will offer a seminar for the new freshmen on how to succeed in such a market, but with the numerical imbalance of the class, their dating effect will be felt highly outside of their class. If you’re a Sophomore or above, though, this may mean you need to take action though, as desperate freshmen girls may destabilize your current relationships. Be sure to firm up your current dating situation or prospects before the freshmen get back from COR then as historical trends show this to be second only to finals week and the bus ride to Lander in terms of dating flux.
Dating in actuality will also be quite different this year for some in the absence of the hotel dorms. These last year were the top place to date in Lander with the co-ed “MacNCheese room”, “Lover’s Stairway”, “Lover’s Hallway”, Lover’s First Floor”, and “Lover’s Parking Lot”, but as Wyoming Catholic College is no longer leasing wings of the hotel, the only remaining indoor space to date are the RE Classrooms at Holy Rosary. These are already horribly overcrowded every evening and might be reserved entirely for the use of prefects and their dates this year after a raucous close to the year so most ordinary students will need to find off-campus dating places or stay later at the classroom area.
McDonald’s is bracing already for a fivefold increase in its nightly-daters-served metric, but overflow demand may force Lander to extend the operating hours of its library and perhaps even force the cemetery to modify its much-hated 9pm curfew.
But the school is unconcerned about the detrimental impact of this dating space loss, saying officially that “WCC students’ ingenuity will find them a way forward” and there should be “no detrimental impact on the good of the community as a whole” from the changes. Most dating occurs earlier in the day at classrooms, however, so for most this may be just an inconvenience.
The school, as usual, will offer a dating seminar with attendance required by all freshmen sometime in the fall, where they will, as usual, promoting only a few types of dating. However, their resistance to the ABCDEF…Z dating community will likely be less as community opinion moves toward freedom of dating for all. The school officially recognized Cyrillic and Group dating as viable allowed options for the 2019-20 Student Handbook.
“It’s weird, but for a change, we’ve actually gotten our class into the handbook in a good way,” comments an excited Sophomore Brandon Tillman about what their class’s more open perspective on dating accomplished.
IIT will update you throughout the year on this subject but for now here’s to a successful, perhaps even as Matt says “spicy”, 2019-2020 dating season. We didn’t even mention the cult dating innovations that Andrew is further developing but be sure that you’ll hear about them and more right here on IrkutskIceTruckers.com
Read new IIT contributor’s Guide to the Dating Culture at WCC to learn more about dating at WCC.