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WFR, the Wilderness First Responder course, is going on at Wyoming Catholic College now and many of our staff attending (as evidenced by our low output of content this past week, we thought we’d share one of our presentations used to help each other learn about particular medical concepts, diseases, or principles.

From three “Sophomore Rockers” thus comes this presentation then:

A mysterious disease threatens 9% of the U.S. Population and countless millions of others the world round.

Killing thousands every day and millions every year, being diagnosed is literally a death sentence.

Scientifically it has a name, but culturally they call it “the hanging”.

It’s victims literally choke themselves from the inside as those affected can’t breathe and eventually run themselves out of air from a disorder of their airway.

Weirdly, however, they choke with air trapped inside them, expanding from the inside until they choke themselves from their ballooning.

A mysterious disease threatens 9% of the U.S. Population and countless millions of others the world round.

Killing thousands every day and millions every year, being diagnosed is literally a death sentence.

Scientifically it has a name, but culturally they call it “the hanging”.

It’s victims literally choke themselves from the inside as those affected can’t breathe and eventually run themselves out of air from a disorder of their airway.

Weirdly, however, they choke with air trapped inside them, expanding from the inside until they choke themselves from their ballooning.

Scientists say it has similarities to cardiovascular diseases of arteriosclerosis or its more particularized form, coronary artery disease

They had found ways to treat these diseases, but terrifyingly for its victims, there has yet to be found a treatment.

Joining in this terror, two Wyoming Catholic College students are diagnosed with “the hanging” by its medical name of “asthma”

The disease may not kill the first time they evidence it, as it begins with mere coughing and a slight difficulty in breathing, but they know it will get them.

.

Enter Blake and Slagathor:

Blake and Slagathor enter, looking depressed but trying to smile. Returning to Wyoming Catholic College after their respective diagnoses with this terrible disease, asthma, they are backpacking the Wyoming plains together.

Out of the blue, Blake makes his move, not noticing the cloud clearly marked “allergens” that has floated around him and he has began to inhale.

Blake – “Hey Slag” (he struggles to get these words out)

Slagathor – (cough, cough, cough)

The cloud was encircling Slagathor to.

 Blake – “if we’re going to hang, why don’t we hang together?”

Blake is still trying to get Slagathor even though his last attempts at Philosophy class ended in epic failure. Maybe, he thinks, even though he’s about to die, telling Slagathor about it will romantically bring her around.

Slagathor – (again coughing and struggling to get her words out) “You dont look to good, Blake.”

Blake – “I’m dying.”

Slagathor – “Me too.”

Success, Blake tells himself, thinking, “I’ve got her; Now to real her in.”

Blake – “Doctors say there’s no cure. I suggested the Eatball, my dream vitamin meatball, but they didn’t seem to care or even want to listen. Told me to go the morgue and plan it… I wondered, if you’re dying with it to, would you want to be buried with me?”

Slagathor is slightly taken aback at this bold move. She had rejected him and now not only was this a veiled proposal, but worse, her body, even in death, would have to be buried with the goof.”

Slagathor, “Blake, I told you.” (she begins to cough)

Blake coughs to, wheezes, and barely gets out a request: “Hold point, please, I can’t…”

Enter Fearless WFR named Sebastian. He’s just learned CPR, has some weird chemicals in his pocket, and a sort of blow mask to distribute them.

“I’ve got you Blake”

In his mind: CPR steps, good, drugs, better, a modified “thing”, even better!

Jumping on to Blake, “I’ve got you! Take this drug. I’m saving a life everybody. And I’ve got Napalm!”

He jumped right as Blake was exhaling, or that is, attempting to, as this disease, asthma, was making him expand through air entering him which he could not exhale.

Blake for some reason takes the drugs from Sebastian. “Thanks Seb. Want some Slag?”

Hyperventilating, yet moving less and less air with each breath, Slagathor has collapsed forward into a tripod position. She can barely say a word and seconds later collapses fully, turning blue. She ran out of air, out of time, and became the next victim.

But Blake, throwing off Sebastian, who jumps on him twice more, feels great, that is until he sees Slagathor lying dead next to him.

Blake – “I really thought, she’d marry me…”

He sucks some more of the clearly marked allergen cloud into his mind, coughs again, and doesn’t allow a crazed Sebastian to help him this time. Coughing violently, he also dies, as the allergen again fills his lungs.

Lying dead next to Slagathor, he got his wish. And though this be improbable, Sebastian had here and then found a cure for asthma.

One year later:

B is diagnosed with asthma. Doctors offer him the newfound “Sebastian treatment”, inhaling his chemicals from what is now called a “rescue metered dose inhaler”, it opens up airway passages clogged by the allergic reaction of swelling that is this disease of asthma. However, he melodramatically answers:

B: “That’s one drug I don’t want!”