Irkutsk Ice Truckers News wishes to correct an error in our recent report on WCC upperclassmen who threw the idolatrous “panachma” statues into the Tiber River in Rome two weeks ago. While all reports at the time pointed to Ian Whitmore and Keegan Meyer being the modern day St. Bonifaces in the act, we stand corrected with a better image of one of the people involved that it was rather “one of the Ebys” according to IIT staff analysis of the image provided by LifeSiteNews.
We do not yet know which Eby was involved, yet although we stand corrected on Ian/Keegan’s direct involvement, they still masterminded the operation according to experts we’ve interviewed and we’re only prevented from directly acting by the necessity of working on their Senior theses and fulfilling the duties of their state in life.
This Eby, however, name still unknown, said he was motivated by a desire to “bring pagan things out of a Catholic Church”, and attempted to remove the objects of “plant worship” as well from the synods closing Mass but was prevented by the presence of a “rock band” and “security guards” from taking a similar stand.
None of the Ebys currently at WCC have claimed involvement yet and no one has yet been able to discern which Eby it actually was as of 11 am Monday.