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If you’re a student reading this, this doesn’t apply for yourself, but if you want your friends to truly experience WCC as it is on the inside, not as in the facade presented for visitor’s sake, then a masquerade may be just the thing for them. Of course, if you’re on the outside and reading this, then this is most definitely for you. Masquerading as a student at WCC is somewhat unlike doing it at other colleges, as we know from personal experience in raiding Southern Utah University, but a few short tips and a bit of practice will have you walking the halls with everyone and maybe even convincing Dr. Grove you’re actually a student.

For starts, you have to dress the part, which means understanding WCC’s incredibly complex dress code system. (Or at least it’s incredibly difficult for the girls as I’ve heard)

We don’t recommend exactly following every prescription of the dress code or worse overdressing, however, as doing so might make you stand out from the crowd and get noticed. A nice balance of style is the goal of every cultured student on campus and it sometimes includes things not exactly approved by the code per se. Turbans, bandannas, kilts, white coats, etc. and the like, though not “officially” allowed, are common, and wearing them a bit will help you reach the proper level of formality. You’ll also have to be carrying a bulging, overflowing backpack, lest anyway be suspicious that you’re a visitor or nay, possibly a “cute lil foundling”

Next, when you want to enter the school undetected, run-up to a group coming up into the east swinging door into the Baldwin Building, and with your face buried down into a book, preferably something philosophical, theological, or Euclidical (?), hold the door open for everyone else while taking care not to show your face. They’ll be too busy rushing to get to class while staring at their own books in their hands to take much notice of you.

When you come into classes, if you wish to do so, stay away from Dr. Grove’s as he asks lots of questions of everybody. Although you could probably talk him into believing your actually a student, the scene will definitely be noticed by other students, and the tangent in the conversation caused thus will be too much to bluff your way out of. The best classes to attend are joint or all-class ones for obvious reasons as the large number of people around and the intensity of the conversation should make the presence of one more person less obvious. Just sit with your face down, eyes half-open, and a book on the table with some random scribblings in it. Don’t worry about it being the right book for the class as it’s become a popular thing among upperclassmen (and increasingly sophomores) to do as an example Music homework in Math class and Math homework in Music class so having the wrong book actually helps you to fit in better

When you’re performing your act outside of classes, you can sit around in the school library or somewhere in Augur and pretend to every underclassmen you see that you’re a random senior and to every upperclassman that you’re a new freshman whom they haven’t met. Usually, it does help if you can pull off actually looking the part though.

At meal times just follow the crowd and what the crowd is doing – and eating, but sit somewhere on the periphery with your head in books and a distressed look on your face, of course not participating overly in conversation although grunts and the sounds of stress add to a good appearance.

Don’t stay too long for your visit, however, as your lack of a school email could keep you from getting important information and updates on events. For if you’re not really up to date on events, you could miss an all-school lecture for example and your presence, so recently having begun, might be noticed through its absence. 

Students, in this vein, will likely realize that you weren’t really a student after you’ve departed, but since you departed, you’re in the clear. Coming back will require adopting a different persona and appearance but at least you’ll have gotten in, and we think that’s a big plus to your resume as your having sophistically gotten into our school means you have some capacity for the philosophical and some ability to self-reflect.

And maybe through such a visit, you’ll eventually come here as a real student someday. At least we hope that here at IIT. Apply today at wyomingcatholic.edu/admissions