Post Season Analysis on Fall 2019 WCC Dating

Well, that was unexpected! The details that is, the accidents, not the essence. We were right on the idea that dating at Wyoming Catholic College would be wild this past semester, and analyzing it in retrospect, it sure was, but in the way in which it was so was a little bit wilder than even our analysts expected as students braved conditions less conducive to dating and the sophomore class shedded yet more students, affecting the larger dating culture in the process. 

Here’s how each class fared throughout the semester.

Freshmen: Surprisingly their internal dating rate (Freshmen & Freshmen) was lower than expected, at least as compared with past classes during the first semester of their freshman year. However, what the lacked in terms of official internal dating they made up with sophomores as five Freshmen/Sophomore couples were reported at the Student Life Office’s last count. IIT forward-looking modeling predicts freshmen dating to end up at around 35% for the semester, partly affected by the loss of one couple from the school entirely. This is still behind past classes but a respectable move towards the mean 

Sophomores: Sophomores started out strong, with a nearly 70% dating rate by mid-semester, but “things kind of fell apart” according to Kathleen Milligan, assistant director of Student Life at WCC. “All within about two weeks we went from nearly everyone dating to just Janelle and Jeremiah and a few class D-42X pseudo-daters. IIT is still investigating the reasons for this sudden decline in dating levels at the school and suspects a correlation between the paper deadlines and the reduction of daters, but we don’t yet have conclusive evidence.

However interclass dating brought numbers back up slightly for the conclusion of the semester with the Anslammer, the Dress Shoe, Goofy, and Varnish amongst others setting the Class of 2022 to hold a record for the most interclass dating at one time.

Long term we still expect the Class of 2022 to gain back its overall dating leadership as well. We are currently analyzing prospects of several more relationships within the class, but our outlook expects only around 40% of them to be dating this semester.

Juniors: Juniors are kind of low on dating this semester by most measures. The two remaining members of The Legion are still going strong, and a new relationship began between Netsrik and Renssag that has gathered some attention. Chugging along but not at the levels of other classes, they are at a typical level for junior year dating but we expect things to begin picking up next semester as per typical trends as the juniors in every other respect are an entirely typical and average class. 

Seniors: After a rocky start in which several long-time relationships appeared to have ended for good, a Christmas miracle put things just about back to what they were last year for most. Just in time! Senior year is stressful enough without having to worry about being solitary for the rest of your life. So, quite amazingly, just about every past relationship amongst the seniors started up again before finals as the class unified around the philosophical concept of “absolutely massiveness”. Usually, the final increase in dating doesn’t begin until around April of the final semester of senior year, so assuming this last increase holds, the seniors are, as with their theses, way ahead of schedule.

As we also reported at the beginning of this past semester, changes in dormitory options at WCC led to a 45% reduction of available dating space, something that most undoubtedly hurt all these numbers. Daters were forced to seek alternatives to past dating hotspots as the Lover’s Stairway, Lover’s Kitchen, and the like. This meant overcrowding in the “Blue Room” even as the school offered to make it a “dating only” area and an increase in usage of the Pequod. 

Dorm dating, as far as IIT analysts know, was largely down this year as only one of this year’s new prefects was in any form of on-campus relationship. Two of the senior prefects are dating  However, it’s been replaced almost entirely by an unexpected increase in semi-binary dating, a newly classified subcategory of pseudo-dating where couples admit “some of the time” to be dating and the rest of the time do not, making their dating somewhere in the middle to be traditional style and full pseudo-dating. This category was present amongst all classes this past semester but with a slight advantage to the seniors, again largely replacing what we believe would have been more dorm dating had that trend/fad continued.

Some students were concerned that changes in Student Handbook regulations this year concerning PDA would result in the campus becoming a “Wild-West” of public displays of affection. While dating has felt that way some weeks, PDA itself is actually far below last year’s levels. Two sophomores in particular, Ellen and Jeremiah, have set a model example that we think has contributed to this more moderated approach to affection this year, with a commitment they’ve upheld, even as they were in the same class section, to always keep several seats between them, never sitting next to each other.

Hiram^TM Dating Services never really took off to the level we anticipated they would last semester in terms of actual relationships. Huge interest for Hiram and Daniels’s matchmaking and blind date offering was still received, but busyness and amongst some freshmen, a declaration that they needed more time to settle in, has put a hold on his actual business. We expect his business to pick up next semester, although competition from MetalMatch, an online dating platform run by sophomore Joe Nemec is also, though not releasing official statistics on its performance, another force in the market.

But for one freshman they don’t want in at all in the market right now, or at least they say. Here’s our funniest dating quote of the semester: