St. Joe’s Catholic Church of Atlanta, Georgia, having found “its best life” in the financial success of its “Sponsored Pre-Mass Announcements” which we featured on IIT last summer, has had its next “big idea”. “The world is searching for meaning,” says pastor Mark Marr, who prefers to call himself “Dr.” rather than “Fr.” and identifies as a “liturgy engineer”. “It needs community, fellowship, and an integral search for new paths. And that’s why at St. Joe’s we’re putting our best face forward, our food. Our new donut ministry is sure to wow the world’s needs as we serve the poor, abandoned, and forgotten donuts of the world each weekend and bring them hope, peace, and comfort through our extremely welcoming community.”

Donut ministry is a way to serve the church’s parishioners, as “providing food and entertainment is one of the top things people are looking for today in their church” according to Marr. “Perhaps we can have fun ‘Pizza Ministry’ and ‘Ice Cream Ministries” sometime too and maybe eventually a “Steak Ministry.”. 

This is all part of phase two St. Joe’s Catholic Church’s new “Five Point Spirutual Fellowship Refocus” pastoral plan, for which Sponsored Pre-Mass Announcements, introduced last fall, was the first phase. Future phases will include the adoption of heavy metal music during some liturgies, a potential “renaming” of the Mass, according to Marr, and “cosmetic changes” to the liturgy itself.

Due to his parishioners’ concern over the Chinese coronavirus, however, all ministry events, including this one, are virtual, which means the donuts are, sadly, virtual as well, “but you can have as many of them as you want” Marr comforted. “Free virtual smells!”