Lander, WY – In order to streamline and simplify a “overly complicated system for final exams” Wyoming Catholic College has announced that Dr. Olsson will be taking over the administration of all finals for every class and course. Rather than nearly every professor having to be involved in the process under the old system, replacing all testing with “Dr. Olsson showing up at a random time on the doorstep of your dorm” will “really make everything easier for everybody” according to the school’s assistant director of Student Life Mary Rensilret. “Dr. Olsson is happy to administer everybody’s final and he’ll really help the process move along more quickly. No three hour exams, just a quick chat with Dr. Olsson and you’re through. Easy as that.”
Some students are opposed to the idea, preferring a greater diversity of final styles than only orals, but since “speech, according to Aristotle, is one of the highest mental powers and unique to humans” it really makes sense to perform all our testing orally” Rensilret added.
Some faculty members had proposed going a step further and having Dr. Olsson teach every class. “But while that would be optimal for learning,” Mary comments, “Dr. Olsson wouldn’t have time to work for NASA, the NSA, and MI5 on the side, so we decided, reluctantly, to let other professors teach classes.”