Lander, WY – IIT sources report that couples at Wyoming Catholic College will be allowed a partial exemption from college social distancing rules in order to prevent a complete loss of the school’s culture even amidst the coronavirus outbreak. According to a source high-placed within the school administration, “WCC will be allowing couples to be 5′ 11” apart rather than six feet” under approval from the State Department of Health.
Although the differentia of dating versus not dating may not seem to have any bearing on the spread of viruses, the Wyoming health department categorizes couples who have been dating for more than three weeks as something other than total strangers, allowing them to be somewhat closer together legally than would usually be allowed. Because couples must be dating for at least three weeks according to the the state rule, proof of dating to be provided by the educational institution, this relaxation can’t be turned into a loophole but according to school nurse Medici Abest, “makes sense to keep the bad situation from causing depression in dating couples and thus launching another public health crisis.”
Hugging, holding hands, and kissing is obviously still not allowed under both the state’s and the school’s health orders as well as the school PDA rules for public situations of these actions. “Although you are given an extra inch, you can’t take the mile” warns assistant director of Student Life Mary Rensilret. “Don’t even try. Or else…” In order to ensure that no one goes further than this already extremely generous exception, PDA fines will be increased, to deter anyone from pushing boundaries any further.
In related news, the school is ending its usage of disposable doorknobs and will instead simply remove all doors from campus.