Lander, WY – Wyoming Catholic College dormitory St. Athanasius beat out the previous record holder of a fraternity house at California State University today to hold the Guinness World Record for the world’s largest monument composed entirely of pizza boxes. Wrapping the dorm entirely with stacks more than three times as tall as the dorm itself, the “totally free-standing structure was years in the progress” according to the dorms’ prefect and longstanding resident John Andrew Gleason. Construction began under the original direction of Peter Fay of Pete’s Pizza fame and took until mid-August of this year, “but with the structure now nearly visible from space and definitely from Main St” according to another resident of the dorm, Chris Carter, St. Athanasius finally has something other than just John Wayne to be famous for.
Official representatives from the Guinness Book of World Records came to authenticate and document the structure last week, and reported their official results today, overturning the past record of a twenty by eighty by thirty feet structure built in 2005 by the aforementioned (but unammed) fraternity house at California State University. St. Athanasius’s new structure is sixty feet tall, fifty wide, and ninety-feet along, “spreading somewhat regrettably into part of the adjacent parking lots and featuring turretts, arrow-slits, and four lookout towers along with a totally epic gatehouse and front gate” near the original front porch of the dorm.
The whole structure, even more incredibly, isn’t just a series of walls as it also comes with a sloping roof structure supported by cardboard cables with shingles made out of water-resistant-treated pizza boxes. Even air holes to allow cigarette and pipe-smoke to escape were part of the project, which John Andrew says is the “total fulfillment of the Athanaisian nature and concomitant actions of Domino’s Pizza consumption, smoking on the porch, and a dozen more things I can’t tell you about.”
All of the nearly 135,000 pizza boxes used in construction of the structure came from pizzas consumed directly by members of St. Athanasius over the last decade.