Lander, WY – Dr. Zimmer, head of the outdoor program, recently had a groundbreaking idea that will “improve our OLP program and therefore the whole curriculum”—moving all weeklong rock climbing and canyoneering trips to the Grand Canyon.

“After all, the Grand Canyon is the canyon!” Dr. Zimmer explained. “Why do mere imitations of  canyoneering when you can do the real thing in the real canyon?” 

But the school’s dean, Professor Cleanut, wasn’t quite convinced at first. “If we move half our outdoor program to Arizona, so much of the experience will be lost to driving time,” he protested. “We might as well move the whole college to Arizona if we did that! Canyoneering is canyoneering no matter where it’s done.” 

But Dr. Zimmer pointed out the inconsistencies in Professor Cleanut’s arguments. So many of our outdoor trips are already in Utah, and there have even been hunting trips in Wisconsin. So why not go to Arizona? “Besides,” he added, “we want our students to grow and challenge themselves,” and went on to explain how although canyoneering and rock climbing can be done in any canyon, the Grand Canyon, because of its size, depth, and steepness, has more potential to provide challenging adventures, while also containing some easier cliffs for beginning rock climbers. Additionally, one goal of the outdoor program is to grow in wonder and appreciation for God’s beautiful creation. What better place to do that than one of the greatest—or should we say, grandest—natural wonders? Dr. Zimmer ended his speech by saying, “We strive to make the rest of our curriculum rigorous and rewarding, so why not work to make the OLP courses rigorous and rewarding too? Isn’t that an inconsistency? Why are we slacking off here?” 

At this, Professor Cleanut had to give in. 

Within the next year, all rock climbing, canyoneering, and desert backpacking trips are expected to move to the Grand Canyon; within the next four years, it is expected that the college will find ways to move other trips, such as kayaking and mountain biking, to or near the Grand Canyon; and within the next ten years, it is expected that a second OLP base named “Grander than Lander” will be built inside the Grand Canyon.