Lander, WY – In a move apparently directed at preventing the rest of his class from having to present orations this year, Wyoming Catholic College senior Aaron Langley talked non-stop for 72 hours this week, blocking any of the other seniors from having a chance to orate in the manner of a senate filibuster speech. “He never repeated himself once, it was amazing,” said one sophomore who stayed for the entire 72 hours. “Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to do, but he certainly put the effort into his speech,” she added.

Senior orations are usually scheduled in one hour blocks with a half-hour oration on a given subject followed by thirty minutes of questions and answers from panelist professors as well as an audience. Langley’s, however, given on the subject of the school’s Experiential Leadership Program (ELP) gave no time for questions or answers across the three days in which he presented nonstop, even as the faculty panel one by one keeled over and fell asleep as did most of the attendees, none of whom were expecting his oration to go on for so long. “For hours I sat there, always thinking, ‘this must finally be it, only five minutes left’, but on and on he went,” said junior Bernadette Heithoff. Seniors themselves, even though they were the beneficiaries of Aaron’s move, in that none of them had to present their own orations, also now claim total ignorance of his plan. 

Aaron Langley has not responded to requests for comments about his decision, which although technically not in violation of any of the oration guidelines, would be expected to have bothered the professors due to its obvious intent of keeping his classmates from having to present their own orations. He’s still expected to pass the course requirement of giving an oration even with his filibuster attempt as most of the professors are still too exhausted from trying to stay awake to listen to it that they’re “just letting him pass.”