Lander, WY – Wyoming Catholic College (WCC) maintenance team Super Flex announced a sweeping increase in benefits for its employees today as part of a plan to increase retention rates in what is typically one of the most popular work study departments at the school.
“We’re not sure how it happened,” Phillip Matthews, the current student supervisor of the team told IIT, “but we’ve lost five people over the last year and for the first time in five years haven’t been able to fill every available position on our team.”
Thus the plan. Not only will Super Flex retain its highly popular team uniform offerings which already include supplyinbg every employee with hats, t-shirts, jackets, and belts, Super Flex, according to Matthews will now offer its student employees retirement plans including 401Ks and pension options after graduation, personal vehicles they can keep after graduation, and maybe even an ability to cut to the front of the Frassati food line.”
“We’re super excited about these new offerings, a first for any work-study department at WCC,” Matthews added. “We hope these help us keep everyone we currently have and add some more people to our team. I’m personally looking forward to that free vehicle the most although the cutting to the front of the line at Frassati also sounds real nice right now.”
Several Wall Street business analysts believe Super Flex management made the decision to add perks in response to the janitorial team at WCC having recently acquired their own uniforms, which according to Smith Smithie of 52 Choose 5 Bank is the “first real competition Super Flex has had regarding premium work study perks.”
Matthews denies these rumors but admits that there may be “more exciting changes coming soon for the Super Flex team at WCC.”
All retirement plans and 401Ks under the plan will be in WCC’s exciting “spreadsheet currency” as opposed to regular currency while vehicles will be the Super Flex member’s choice from the “dorm boneyard.”