Beloved WCC Senior Joe Pho is the only reason that our music and choir programs are still in one piece

Lander, WY – Wyoming Catholic College’s (WCC) Music and Choir programs are wholly dependent upon one senior, the only student who’s really ever learned music well at the school: Joe Pho.

Which… is causing a problem. Because Joe Pho is a senior, that means he likely won’t be here next year. So what is the music and choir program going to do, especially insofar as no one else who’s ever been hired for the job of helping Professor Hopkinson seems to work out for him? Which means… Professor Hopkinson has to find a practical way to keep Joe Pho at WCC indefinitely and keeping him from graduating. Failing him is not an option. Joe Pho’s grades are too absolutely massive and too good. Having him expelled from the school so that he has to come back someday would miss the point.

“It was a hard problem,” admitted Professor Hopkinson, the faculty director of music and head of the school’s choirs. “I really like Joe Pho and I really need Joe Pho. So far rhetoric, ethos, logos, and pathos haven’t been convincing enough to persuade him to stay. Unfortunately, since nothing seems like it’s going to work except brute force, I may just have to go that route. Sorry, Joe Pho, you’re just going to have to stay here,” the professor added, pointing to a corner of the room where Joe Pho sat chained to his desk. “I really, really do need you. Now how about if we sing that round, ohh what was it, ‘To Portsmouth’ one more time. Oh, and, could you transpose this hymnal to C-½ sharp minor. Thanks. And please print out 25,000 copies of this listening guide. And don’t forget to polish all the music binders.”

Joe Pho is reportedly rather indifferent to what amounts to his indefinite imprisonment, as it “both represents to me an opportunity to get even better at music and will give me a lot of experiential evidence for my future career as a lawyer once I escape and take him to court one day.”

Reportedly members of the Class of 2022 and 2023 are extremely happy over Joe Pho’s “not graduating” as according to one junior, “he’ll not only be joining our class most likely, but he’ll also be able to stay around and keep the sophomores from failing music next year.”