Lander, WY – One of the most controversial behaviors at Wyoming Catholic College is the “Senior Swoop”, where seniors, primarily senior men, start relationships with underclassmen, particularly freshman—right before they graduate.

At one point just over a year ago, for example, over half of the senior men (Class of 2021) in St. John’s were dating freshman. Now well this might seem all fun and love, such relationships being capable of being accepted by the community as the true calling of both parties, many aren’t convinced. For Matthew Andrews of the Class of 2022 of St. Athanasius, “there’s no chance, zero, zilch, of such relationships being both true and lasting. Seniors are just feeling what Dean Washut calls ‘the emergence of relationship pressure’ and acting accordingly and irrationally, grabbing on to any opportunity for what might seem to possess the smallest reflection of anything that looks like love. And that’s wrong.”

His class lost one of their members to such a “swoop” and its never been the same. “Where’s dignity, honor, class cohesion, class rights even, in the face of that. Poor innocent freshman girls can’t help but see seniors as divine, perfect in every way, and impeccable, and convince themselves that such seniors are the perfect prize, not realizing that their social obligations are first of all to their own class. And for the seniors… where’s there courage, their chivalry? What’s honorable about swooping down and picking up a freshman who almost can’t say no.”

Frederick Beckvir, also of the Class of 2022, puts it even more strongly, “Each class is distinct, each class is its own gene pool, and a difference of three classes at WCC is simply too much for nature to work anything out. Date in your own class first.”

Frederick and Matthew, seeing that the Class of 2021 ignored what to them is “an obvious fact of nature, sought to forestall such behavior in their own class, issuing a warning to any and all possible “offenders” that could seek to date freshman. Unfortunately the warning was too much of a threat for us to publish it in print. Needless to say, the consequences were stark, and it seemed to work. One senior contemplated going so far as to write a freshman girl a letter on her 21-Day-Expedition, but he decided against it after a stern warning from the so-called “Swoop Possee.”

Two other relationships formed between seniors and sophomores, something that, “isn’t half as bad as a full scale swoop” according to Beckvir, but one of these was a reverse swoop, a sophomore man developing a relationship with a senior lady out of a longtime friendship of playing cards together. The other, slightly more concerning, is best described as inevitable given the characters of the parties involved, with no amount of threats capable of moving the will of “Shribes” as the senior man is known. 

The jury’s still out on the success of these relationships, but the message is clear. Strong threats and early warnings work to prevent senior-freshman relationships and keep each class’s dating economy protected from unfair competition and allowed to develop naturally.
But each class has to do this for itself. Only you can help prevent senior-freshman relationships, the “senior swoop.” Just be a little bit of a mean guy and warn your own class not to do it.