Washington D.C. – The Midterm Elections coming this November will be a choice for Americans between two diametrically opposed agendas, Biden and Democrats’ Inflation+ economic plan versus the Republican “Just Elect Me and Hope for the Best” non-plan plan.

“Listen Jack. Inflation’s really bad right now,” commented President Biden at a campaign event in Philadelphia today to support a Democrat senatorial campaign. “As my granpappy always used to say, the cure to inflation is to inflate even faster and then pop, pop, poppy… Err you pop the balloon with a razor. and you, you know the thing. The point is, we need to make inflation more fun for the American worker which is why I’m proposing Inflation+ a new monthly subscription service for every American that will turn inflation from depressing to fun. No, no two subscriptions for every Latinx taco and Australian j-ja-jumbo,” he added.

Benefits of the new inflation program that Biden administration officials said would be passed if Democrats win in this year’s midterms include:

  • A free “I LUV INFLATION” bumper sticker for every American. Cost: $400 Trillion Dollars.
  • A chance for every American to starve because they can’t afford to buy food. Wow! Thrilling!
  • 10 Chances to win a free neck hug from Biden himself. Priceless.
  • New, larger gas station price signs able to handle per gallon gas prices of up to $10,000. Those will just look beautiful.
  • The price of Disney+ doubling by January 2023. Might actually be a good thing.
  • Amazon remaking the original Lord of the Rings trilogy.
  • Lots and lots of inflation of Democrat party voter rolls for centuries to come. Nothing to worry about, nothing to see here, merely “fortifying” the election.
  • Inflation is now a good thing according to the dictionary. Disagree and you’re a fascist racist who wants puppies to die.

I personally can’t wait to see this amazing set of improvements to inflation enacted. How about you?