Lander, WY – Wyoming Catholic College has admitted its first robotic student today, the first member of the Class of 2027, according to a statement released by the college’s office of admissions. “Don’t worry, ‘TESLA-Bot’ isn’t necessarily sentient and about to take over the world just because it suddenly decided to pursue a liberal arts degree,” assuaged Nadi Rull, the school’s director of admissions. “We just have really good marketing on Instagram that happens to appeal to robots, or at least the programmers at Elon Musk’s Tesla who have been programming its controlling neural nets.”
TESLA-Bot, recently unveiled just earlier this week, will just like any other student, “obviously have to participate in WCC’s unique 21-day freshman backpacking expedition next fall,” commented its inventor, billionaire Elon Musk. “I can’t wait for this to help prove how versatile and powerful my robot’s titanium-moscovium frame is and how intelligent and adaptable our company has made its neural net frameworks.”
Some WCC applicants and current students are concerned over how TESLA-Bot might “ruin the curve” of class grading or, on the other hand, “might derail a perfectly good conversation about Vatican II with logic and argumentative precision,” but Musk has urged WCC’s students to be open-minded. “TESLA-Bot will be an amazing asset to your student body, doing all the things students are good at, like smoking, cliff-jumping, climbing peaks, and staying out late after curfew.”
“If this initial trial with one robot succeeds,” Rull added, “as it will, we might add on as many fifty robots every year to double the size of future freshman classes.”
It is not yet clear whether TESLA-Bot will be treated as a man or as a woman for the sake of housing and group assignment for the freshman expedition.