Yes, writing a thesis is necessary

It’s nearly time for members of the Class of 2022 to turn in their thesis proposals. Most of the time professors give no trouble to any idea proposed by students, but over the history of Wyoming Catholic College there have been a few proposed topics that have been rejected in the past ten years. As provided to IIT by WCC’s registrar Mrs. Eastlyn, here are the top thirty rejected titles of proposed senior theses at WCC. We kind of suggest you don’t choose any of these to title your thesis. Unless, of course, you want to be a little adventurous with your future.

  • Santa Claus and Unicameral Government: On whether the multiple branches of government disprove the existence of Santa Claus
  • Quantum Mechanics and the Phaedrus
  • The Geographical Center of the Canterbury Tales is the word “spring”.
  • Dante’s Astrophysics and the Four Loves of Joel Olsteen
  • Japanese Architecture and the Perfect Outhouse
  • Saved by Skittles: Whether Fast Food is a form of prayer?
  • Is Theo Dating?
  • What is the connection between Nalgenes and Texan patriotism?
  • Why was Lord of the Rings not written in Iambic Pentameter? Does it prove that Tolkien was influenced by Bugini?
  • Are interviews a pathway to the perfection of self-reflection?
  • ELP is a lie: It’s not 20% of people that self-reflect
  • The Birth of the Modern Pre-Socratic Comes About Through Coffee
  • Wilderness Cell-Phone Therapy as a tool for Poetic Regurgitation
  • Socrates was the world’s first hippy
  • What a piece of work is a woman – Why WCC Favors Women
  • Shakespeare Worked for the IRA: The Proof is in the Food Served in King Lear
  • Body-Building as a Path Towards St. Therese’s Conception of Humility
  • Cigarettes are a Sign of the Divine Goodness: Against the Culture of St. Athanasius
  • Whether the World is on the Back of a Turtle: New Proofs from Modern Literary Engagement
  • Fire Danger: Pyrotechnics Expressing Polyphony in the Mind of Barack Obama
  • Atonal Ecclesiastics: On Music, Balloons, and Popcorn in the Church Fathers
  • How to replace a lightbulb: what sort of infinity of WCC students is required?
  • On whether shoes should be worn: from the philosophy of Heidegger
  • Chiastic Structures in the Aeneid Imitate Brussel Spouts
  • Modality and the ELP; The Major and Minor Scales of Every Successful WCC Outdoor Trip Playlist
  • Paradoxically Neo-Platonic Sewers in Virgil’s Rome
  • Random Greek Words Provide the Key to Rhetorical Success
  • The Subjective Difference Between the Grovian Seminar and the Baxterian Comma
  • Whether Dr. Papadopolous’s Mustache is Vetruvian or Petrarchian: Based on the Writings of St. John of the Cross
  • Is Dr. Lasnoksi Of One Essentia, Hypostasis, or Suppositum With His Bow-tie? A Geometric Answer from the Lives of Theodoret and Apollonius