Lander, WY – Wyoming Catholic College’s kitchen crew was worse than normal this year by all productivity measures, until, strangely, it wasn’t, dinner supervisor Jemma Erman reported to IIT. “Everything was getting worse. No one was showing up, nothing was getting done, dishes weren’t getting washed, food wasn’t ready on time.”
“But then,” she added, “One day they just showed up and started working, and did more than any of my real crew.” The “they” was a sophisticated group of deep-fake impersonators of the real, background-checked, approved, and on the payroll work study kitchen crew. The impersonators, who never revealed their names to Jemma, showed up half an hour before the regular start time for the dinner kitchen shift one day, and “just sort of took over.”
“Instantly things changed,” Jemma reported. “They kept coming. Food was made on time, and it was better. Dishes were washed, and we began to even see victories over the dreaded “Greaseman” grease monster. “It was like angels from God sent to save dinner.”
“But it did weird me out a bit,” she added. “They were volunteers, not getting paid for what they were doing, and again, weren’t even telling me their names. They just came, worked, and left. I finally asked one—there were six of them—why he was coming in every day and he said it was just because they were ‘bored’. But this time rather than LARPing (Live Action Role Playing) being Byzantine, they had chosen to LARP “kitchen work study. I still don’t understand it.”
A staff review of the IIT archives review a similar situation observed several years ago when “deep-fake Flex” agents were recorded once using a leaf blower around campus to clear out sidewalks, but only on one specific occasion. Today’s situation, however, is far larger and more brazen, having occurred daily for several months. We (the IIT editorial board) encourage WCC administration to investigate immediately. For while the current feat of impersonation has been helpful to all hungry WCC students as while as the kitchen’s management, we can easily imagine something with far more mixed consequences, like deep-fake professors (which us rumored to have occurred at one point, deep-fake COR instructor, or deep-fake prefects.