Lander, WY – It seems that the woke mob has come as far as Lander, Wyoming as reports are just coming in that U.S. Department of Accountability’s Office of Cancellation, Banning, and Deplatforming (USDA-OCBD)has officially decided to ban, cancel, de-platform, and erase local man Timothy from all social media, electronic means of communication, ability to use the Postal Service, etc.
The secret cabal in charge of this agency determined in their hourly “Who Should We Cancel This Hour” meeting that “Tim just doesn’t meet community standards for inclusion in society, so our terms of service require that Tim be canceled.”
Now that he has been canceled, Tim is no longer able to get a driver’s license, post on any social media, have a cell-phone, use any other electronic means of communication, or, worst of all, use his WCC email account. He also cannot leave his home unless he is with a non-cancelled person, and is now automatically ineligible for a fishing license in twenty-nine states, and must request permission from the Matriarchy before making any purchase larger than $10.
Tim’s cancellation was reportedly quick, happening late at night to “minimize its getting noticed” according to an expert in the field of cancellation.
UPDATE: Never mind, it seems that Tim actually cancelled himself.